


Potion of Girl

by Nary



Category: Oglaf
Genre: Comedy, Genderbending, Genderfuck, Genderplay, Genderswap, Humor, Magic, Other, Pansexual Character, Seduction, Snark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-19
Updated: 2010-12-19
Packaged: 2017-10-13 19:14:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/140720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nary/pseuds/Nary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ivan's washbasin suddenly being filled with tickly water was only the fourteenth-strangest thing that had happened to him that week...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Potion of Girl

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aquila](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aquila/gifts).



Ivan had stopped eating anything the Xoan ambassador gave him after the poisoned cake/poisoned antidote incident. It didn't matter if he hadn't made it himself - even if he'd just looked at it in passing, it was enough to make Ivan suspicious. He wondered if Mistress was deliberately seating him next to Sandoval at dinners so that he couldn't even ask him to pass the salt, or whether it was just because she liked watching him squirm when he got felt up under the table.

Mystery foods were also hazardous. A plate of cookies turned up outside his door one morning, labelled "Cookies of Deliciousness." They _did_ look good, gooey and crispy all at once, but it wasn't worth the risk. He fed them to the hot bitches instead, and let them lick his fingers clean afterwards, which was rather pleasant, if blistery. Then he watched them carefully - not because he enjoyed it, but for the purposes of science, to see if anything about them changed. They got very creative with their use of their chains, but other than that, he didn't notice any difference. They were so creative he had to surreptitiously make another deposit to his shelf of bottled cumsprites afterwards, but that wasn't anything unusual. It was enough to make a fellow paranoid.

He hadn't become so paranoid that he stopped bathing, however. The water he splashed on his face and under his arms in the morning seemed a little more... tingly than usual, but he put it down to the cold, or maybe Mistress's use of one of her crap tributes, the Adder of Tiny Bubbles. Not an actual snake, which might have been somewhat less crap, but just a tube that you stuck into things and which served the dubious function of making liquids fizzy. Mistress had tried it on the blood of the tribute-giver, which had turned a sort of frothy pink, and then had given it away to Ivan along with all the other 'gifts' she didn't want - the magnetic breastplate and the oil of olé and the temporary tattoo of temporary insanity. So his washbasin suddenly being filled with tickly water was only the fourteenth-strangest thing that had happened to him that week... until he looked down and realized he had breasts.

"AAAAAAAAH! Wait. Hmm." He gave them an experimental squeeze. They were actually very nice breasts, full and soft and jiggly. He would have liked them if they'd been attached to someone else's chest. A quick glance in the mirror showed him that his beard had also vanished. He wasn't ready to investigate what was going on below the belt quite yet.

"Do you like it, pigeon?" a voice purred from the doorway. Ivan spun around to find Sandoval standing there, wrapped (well, half-unwrapped) in a silk robe and wearing fuzzy pink slippers.

Ivan clutched his towel to his newly-bountiful bosoms. "YOU. You did this... somehow."

Sandoval chuckled throatily. "Are you suggesting I crept into your room in the middle of the night, replaced your washbasin's water with some magical potion, sat at your bedside lovingly watching you sleep, and then crept out again?"

"I... yeah. Not that part about watching me sleep, but, uh... the rest."

"Guilty as charged!" Sandoval grinned. "A pair of explorers tried to sell your mistress some water from the 'Fountain of Girl.' She told them she already _was_ a girl and they could piss off, but I accosted them in the corridor and bought the bottle instead. The original formula was a bit bland - how many blonde bimbos does anyone need, really? Six or seven is plenty - so I spiced it up a little. I think it's much better now, don't you? It even works topically! Tell me," he added salaciously, "did you wash _everywhere_?"

Ivan's brow furrowed. "Not... yet... Oh."

Sandoval clapped delightedly, advancing into the chamber. "Shall I give you a sponge bath, then? Or we could leave you just the way you are, that could be entertaining too!"

Ivan dodged him nimbly. "Is there any point in asking _why_ you're doing this to me?"

"I thought it would be obvious! You're so _painfully_ heterosexual, crumpet. So I thought, hello, turn him into a girl, then we can fuck and he'll still think he's straight!"

"Why didn't you just turn yourself into a girl, if you wanted to fuck so badly?"

Sandoval looked as if the idea had never occurred to him. "Oh, I can see why your mistress keeps you around - apart from that adorable ass, of course. You're such a _creative_ little muffin! But I didn't have anything suitable to wear. I simply _can't_ be a girl without some top-quality lingerie."

"I'm going to tell Mistress you turned me into a girl... half a girl… whatever."

"And what, pray tell, do you think she'd do about it? She could curse you to stay this way forever just because her shoes are pinching her today!"

Ivan had a sinking feeling that he was right. Meanwhile, Sandoval was advancing on him again, and his loose robe left little mystery about his intent. Ivan looked warily at his washbasin, then back at the Xoan ambassador, then back at his washbasin. A desperate plan was forming in his mind. He dropped his modesty towel, grabbed the porcelain bowl, closed his eyes in panic, and threw the remaining Potion of Girl all over Sandoval.

He opened his eyes, still holding the basin, which was at that moment dripping its last contents onto his feet (his toes were suddenly much prettier, he thought incongruously). Sandoval was looking down at himself, bemused but not seeming overly distressed. Ivan groaned. He'd aimed low - the ambassador was soaked all right, but only from the waist down. His robes dripped silkily on the stone floor, wrapped around his now slim-but-definitely-girlish hips.

"Well, this is a development," Sandoval said with a lascivious grin (the only kind of grin he had.) "I didn't know you had such perversity in you, scampi." He sat down on the edge of Ivan's bed and ran his hands over his smooth, slender legs, spreading them to give Ivan an excellent view of the newly-formed cleft between them. He cocked his head curiously. "It might be fun, don't you think? It could be worse, you could have splashed me just on the left side or something."

Ivan put the bowl down very, very carefully in order to avoid smashing it into a million pieces. "Can. You. Change. Us. Back."

Sandoval smirked. "Now that's an interesting question, poppet. I certainly would miss my cock... eventually, you know, when the novelty wears off. You, on the other hand, are now saved the inconvenience of shaving, and have two delightful new playthings! I wouldn't think you'd want to switch back."

Ivan breathed deeply and counted silently to ten to control his mounting frustration. He'd gained a great deal of experience in controlling his frustration since he'd become Mistress's apprentice. "That wasn't an answer," he pointed out when he'd regained a tiny shred of calm.

Sandoval pouted slightly. "I _did_ buy another mysterious bottle off those travellers, labelled 'Fountain of Cock.' I rather hoped it would produce, you know, a fountain of cocks! So when I opened it and wasn't immediately showered with cocks, I tossed it aside. So many more interesting things to play with, after all..."

"Get it. Please. Now."

Sandoval looked puzzled. "But kitten, you still _have_ a cock. You don't need it. If anything, I'm the one that needs it. Oh, did you want me to get it so I can still fuck you? That's sweet, but I can be quite creative even without one! Let me show you..."

Ivan sighed. "No, really, that's fine, thank you. I can imagine."

"Can you? Tell me all about it, my delectable little blossom of debauchery! Every juicy detail..." Sandoval lounged back on his bed, robe falling open and one hand dangling between his parted thighs.

"I... uh..." Actually, this particular combination of body configurations had never been part of Ivan's (extremely vivid) fantasy life, but it made a peculiar sort of sense. And from the waist down, Sandoval was starting to look oddly appealing. Nice legs... perky ass... And it's not as if anyone else with a pussy in the castle was willing to give him access to it. This might be his best chance. He could just close his eyes and ignore the facial scruff... maybe...

Ivan made a strangled "urrrgh" sort of noise and took a step closer. Sandoval would never let him forget this. Never ever. And he would probably tell Mistress too, and then she would never let him forget it either. And possibly punish him for neglecting his duties.

But at least he couldn't possibly get in trouble with her for wanking.


End file.
